Musicals & Operettas 

Choosing a play for the next production. Four plays in the offing to be read.

Consider who is available.  Juggle around holidays. Appease the stage manager.  Make sure I don't upset key members of the committee and failing dismally.  Secretary going on about multiple sets, sounds interesting unless you know him. Women's libbers upset by amount of clothing discarded in the farce. (That's me by the way.) Men not bothered in the least. Treasurer wanting miracles and a money tree.

Will I still get my half a shandy in the pub after casting, that is the question?

The Oscars

An eventful day all in all.  Was co-ordinator, chauffeur and tea maker extraordinaire during the day. Fell asleep . Clock was slow so hot footed it to pick up elderly stalwart member in time for AGM.  Just made it. AGM over by 9 o'clock with the usual suspects re-instated. Our version of "The Oscars" was presented ,with due ceremony, to the stage manager for his work on the last two sets plus his performance in the  Play "Trivial Pursuits".

Everyone wanted to clear off to the pub.  I was unpopular wanting a play reading. Choosing a play isn't  easy and the one I've in mind is a bit risque so I wanted to read the sauciest bit to see if it shocked anyone........The only one it shocked was me!!  It was  very funny in a "carry on cum allo allo "sort of way so there was nothing else to do but 99.9% decide to sleep on it!!

It's a farce

Slept on it and decided on the farce "Business Affairs" by John Chapman and Jeremy LLoyd.  Announced the cast with apologies for the clothing that gets discarded along the way only to find that the girls can't wait to get them off, the men neither! Wait to get the girls clothes off I mean. Bit worried when one guy picked up a negligee and looked at it longingly!

Accents might present a problem, Northern, Cockney, German and Swedish. Well at least we're doing our bit for Europe. Started blocking and was pleased with outcome I think I've got a cracker!

Consensus from the pub committee is thumbs up!

Steamy

I've come to the conclusion that directing a play, especially a farce, is very difficult!  Trying to look at the stage, keep an eye on  the script and read ahead all at the same time!  How come everyone's always in a line when I look up? Discovered yet another accent! one of the girls is Australian! That's 5 different accents amongst 8 characters. But it had me laughing.  The girls were at their most seductive - men watch out!! My glasses steamed up,( or was that down to the hot coffee). Can't wait for next week to see what happens to the grapes!

Stress buster

What a day! Stress is too mild a word. Dashed home from work and then paid visit to the dentist. Dashed back home again to host family birthday party for husband (consisting of ringing the Indian takeaway, putting a few candles on the birthday cake and opening a bottle of bubbly)

Then escaped to the hall for blocking the final few pages of the play....Blessed relief!  This is my stress buster and it works!  Men in togas (with those grapes again), women in basques and general mayhem reigning, the last few pages are now blocked.  Hurray!

15th June 2005

Historical step

An exiting day for me  as my website is now "live" A special friend  described it as an historical step (flattery will get you everywhere)

Rehearsals went well with accents coming at me from all directions.  In fact it's so confusing that I couldn't tell my Aussie from my Swedish and I don't think the cast could either!! But it's all great stuff.

 I'm on holiday for 2 weeks now and looking forward to the break.  It'll be interesting to see how things develop without me, probably very well!

La vie Parisienne

Hi everyone I'm back from my hols!! I've had some good "me" time a short trip to Paris with 2 friends was fantastic I'll say no more, except that with my friends skills in "lifting" a passenger's ticket, we'll be lucky to be allowed on Eurostar again! I'm unfair, she did give it back to him....eventually! By the way, commiserations to Paris and a big congrats to London for the 2012 Olympics

Went to rehearsal and was amazed at the progress made without me.  Does that tell me something?  Yeah it tells me that the cast are fantastic and have flung themselves headfirst into this production. The next problem I face is deciding on the type of underwear the girls will wear (well I'm wardrobe mistress also!)

Lest we forget

Terrible atrocities in London on Thursday, 7th July. Terrorist bomb attacks on the underground and on the no. 30 bus have cast a shadow over our lives. My thoughts are with the families and friends of the victims.   My diary is suspended for this week.

Those lazy hazy crazy days of summer

Internal politics and misunderstandings, nearly put paid to the existence of the society as we know it! The secretary had to introduce a three line whip. ( the most exiting meeting I've been to in a long time!) But in the immortal words of the bard, or was it Elvis, we're back to " Taking care of business."  (TCB)

Each character in the play is coming along a treat. The women are bossy, homely and buxom. whilst the men are Germanic, virile and home grown northern! The props will help now.  We have the "Iron man" hat so I must remember to bring a négligée and a large bunch of grapes!

Oh I must mention the car rally last Sunday. I had serious misgivings when we were given a pair of latex gloves, scoop, plastic bag and told to get something "free and fresh"...turned out to be manure!!  Then a stroll through the kissing gate and on our hands and knees in the forest ....with paper and crayons taking rubbings of leaves, honest!. The weather was great, the route was interesting and I didn't get lost for once.   We ended up at a picnic in the grounds of a stately home and  enjoyed a game of rounders  under the blazing summer sun. It was marvellous. 

27th July, 2005

String vests and flat caps

Concentrated on men this week!  I've just realised that the two Northerner's are on stage for most of the play, in particular the first 12 pages of act 1. (it takes me a while to fall in!) So worked on their part. Dying to see them in flat caps and string vests! I'll have to be more assertive with the ladies though as they're all acting like escort girls now and its difficult to distinguish  Sabrina from Hilda. They look great though!  I was a bit grouchy this week so probably just me.  Excellent news is that we have a sofa and chair for the set!  It has to look swish London Hotel but is ex conference room furniture, although with good lighting and a little imagination  anything is possible ( as the Bishop said to the actress!)

Wine and roses

Something different this week we had our rehearsal combined with a BBQ at someone's house. The venue was a pleasant drive away

This social occasion was an ideal opportunity to  resolve any differences of opinion  and I don't know if that was achieved (I think not) but it was a lovely summers evening so we sat out in the garden till late chatting, drinking, eating .....oh yes and reading through the play (shame about that!) We had a right laugh in such a relaxed atmosphere though and noticed double entendres that we hadn't known were there, marvellous what a few glasses of wine can do!  Come to think of it I didn't have wine because of driving, so it must just be my dirty mind!

Sex drugs and rock and roll

Last week has made it's mark!  The dialogue is coming across as conversational now and the accents are getting better and better. (I quite fancy the cool swede!) Couples are relating well to one another now, maybe too well!!. The holiday season has started but no problems as we're well advanced with the play. Must start to use props : sexy negligee, bunch of grapes etc and men need to  loose their trousers, equality reigns  I'm pleased to say!   The laughs are coming and I'm sure the audience will enjoy this one.

Meeting about the wardrobe.  Budget agreed so now I want to go and buy 60's/70's clothes in the sales (there's bargains to be had!) as the musical next spring will be Sweet Charity!! Austin Powers eat your heart out! Sex drugs and rock and roll as they say. I'm not sure who said that but it sounds good to me!

17th August, 2005

Lap dancing

What do you call it when you break new ground? Oh yes! Groundbreaking, that's what I've done this week.  I've brought lap dancing to our hall for the first time! It was a very good performance and I can't understand why the men needed to go over and over it as all they have to do is look!  Oh by the way I've had requests for photos to illustrate my diary.  I'm considering making it subscription only..... just kidding. (I nearly had you there didn't I).

Things are really hotting up and I don't mean the weather.  The German guy stripped off to a little towel in one instance and then wore a toga with a silver bowl on his head.  My fantasies are being enacted before my eyes and it's great!

I had a look at the DVD of "Sweet Charity" to refresh my memory about the clothes from the late 60's. You know the saying if you can remember the 60's then you weren't there!  Well I did this quiz to prove that I definitely was there.  Those of you 40 or over have a go here

31st August, 2005

Hot steamy night

Had a Bank holiday last week end the weather was really good. Did lots of decorating and gardening, how I'm aching I need a good massage!  Looking forward to rehearsal on a hot steamy night.  I was not too hot though!! Forgot to pick up the elderly stalwart again, well not exactly forgot more like misinterpreted.  She came under own steam which took so much effort she then had to go home! I I was not in the best of moods probably hormonal, blame anything and everything on hormones, it's fashionable.

Anyway 1 week from books down we had a complete run through and guess what it's not half bad!  So pleased it made me laugh and raised my spirits , and a bit more, well there is a funny line about yorkshire  puddings rising and then going flat (it's my dirty mind again)

7th September 2005

Art deco

Talked set design.  I expect miracles no less!  Art Deco style, maybe the odd nude statuette (very tasteful of course) understated furniture and voila - swish London hotel suite!  A trip to B&Q should do it!  Just kidding.  set building starts this coming Sunday.

Serious business now books were down and Normans trousers were also down! We laughed until we cried. I think Norman somehow liked it and his timing was perfect (all in the true tradition of farce!) The escort girls were gyrating, the guys eyes were on stalks and as for Sven and Hans, well say no more except I love the bananas and the horns!  Looking forward to next week!

Set building

The 2nd week of set building and excellent progress. All doors have been banished to save any problems with carrying women off to or out of the bedrooms!  Instead corridors "off" are not only attractive but give that extra depth and width to the set and boy do we need it!!  Colour scheme is terracotta and cream art deco style.  The problem is that the guy who bought the paint didn't know what terracotta is and when I arrived we had an "oatmeal" set so now it's gonna be Oatmeal and white with terracotta curtains. Teach me to be late!! Discussed clothes or lack of them. I'm all for equality and therefore have asked the men to wear white fluffy towels  wrapped round their waists.  It's not fair that the ladies in the audience will not have male bodies to look at / laugh at! Whatever the ladies can do so can the men as the actress said to the bishop!

Bra wars

 Set building yesterday. The good news is that the guy who bought the paint has now discovered what colour terracotta is. The bad news is that the border he bought does not match anything on the set now!

I'm thinking of renaming the play "bra wars". I've come to the conclusion that I'm OK at deciding what to wear but no good on deciding what not to wear!  Except when men are concerned, then it's white fluffy towels all round - very easy! It's all good fun though and I'm very excited about our final rehearsal next Wednesday in more ways than one!

Apparently the vicar and half the congregation have ordered tickets after hearing reports that it was too risqué to put an ad in the church magazine!  You would expect, that being the first to introduce lap dancing to our theatre, there would be a rush for the tickets, with them even exchanging hands on e bay at inflated prices. No such luck, which surprised me. Then it occurred to me that the posters had not been put up, which may account for the fact that ticket sales were down!

An e mail to the publicity officer confirmed that he had been moonlighting for another company and hadn't the time to get them to us! Posters are now up, the press informed and I expect a huge surge in ticket sales towards the end of next week.  I've stashed a few away as an investment... just kidding if the treasurer's reading (if she's not how many do you want?)

Laughter and tears

Laughter and Tears is the sub title of my wardrobe page and that accurately describes the past week I think!   What not to wear was settled and everyone's a winner, with the audience coming out on top!! The furniture turned up and is a very swish, brand new, brown leather sofa and chair, kindly loaned to us by a furniture supplier ( I wonder what favour we will now owe in return)  The London Eye and Big Ben have appeared, as if by magic, through the hotel window. Technical and dress rehearsals were the usual tense affairs i.e. when "Viva Espania" blasted out, instead of a phone ringing and the curtains closing in the middle of a curtain call etc.

But it's all worth it because last night we opened to an appreciative audience (very appreciative.)  Normans trousers took on a life of their own, they were up and down more times than a fiddlers elbow. The lap dancing routine was such a success (Stanley can vouch for that),  we could now go into competition with  "spearmint rhino ". Valerie "the tart with a heart" touched everyone with her rendition of a well know lullaby, touched being the operative word!  Kurt and Sven conjured up so many fantasies that the Karma Sutra's being rewritten!!  Those fragrant, refined ladies, Hilda and Rose, brought the house down ,as well as their bath robes, to provide a climax to the evenings entertainment. The laughter came thick and fast and the general consensus was a big thumbs up.

Our beautiful lap dancer, professional name "Sabrina" ,was engaged to be married  this week!!! So congratulations all round.  We'll celebrate on Saturday night!!

I'm looking forward to the rest of the week!

Show stopper

We had a video evening on the 12th of October, where the whole cast could see their endeavours in "Business Affairs", mercilessly captured  on candid camera! We all roared with laughter when at a crucial point, just before the end of a brilliant act 1, the Viva Espania theme tune blared out, instead of a doorbell! The situation was brilliantly retrieved by Stanley. The scantily clad ladies could see just how alluring they'd looked and the scantily clad men could see just how un- alluring they'd looked! Well, I mean, an Iron man's hat and a bunch of grapes doesn't do it for me! The local Guardian critics report was very good and I'm over the moon for everyone as they made me laugh every single night!  In fact on the Thursday night the laughter went on so long that it  stopped the show and it was a very simple, suggestive joke that did it ( it's the way you tell 'em!)

Well that's another production over and last night we had the first rehearsal for "Sweet Charity"  I'm back in the chorus once again my directing duties behind me but I now have the fun and games of the wardrobe to arrange.  Hippy hair, flowers,  chains, mini's, Mary Quant "Oh yes I remember it well" I'm sorry to say!!  Here's a quiz for those of you who also remember it well, or at least think that you do!